Thursday, July 10, 2014

Yes We're Fat...No We Won't Be Ashamed

Hey Loves,

This particular post will be rather deep. I hope you'll allow me to be in my feelings & vent for a bit. I was cruising through facebook pure usual and I came across this article on Daily Mail. Why are today's women unashamed about being fat? A woman by the name of Linda Kelsey is a self proclaimed fattist, she thinks that fat people should be ashamed of being fat and that it is PERFECTLY okay to call someone fat. Honestly after reading this article I wasn't mad. I really wasn't mad at all. I actually felt sad for her.  I know ya'll are like why you feelin' sad? So ladies get your tea cups.

She starts the article basically complaining about 3 fat girls she saw at the airport, They were standing in front of her. Her problem wasn't that they were too loud, no. Her problem wasn't that they were obnoxious, no. Her problem was that they were fat & had absolute gall to be happy, carefree, and clearly excited to be going on vacation. 
Standing in the queue for airport security at Luton last week, en route to Malaga and my fortnight in the sun, I became transfixed by the three young women in front of me. All in their early 20s, they were laughing and chatting, clearly looking forward to their hols on the Costa del Sol, excitedly planning their days on the beach and nights on the town.They sounded - and looked - happy and carefree. But what mesmerised me most about this jolly trio was not their conversation, but their appearance: they were size 18 apiece, at least.They were not chubby, but fat. They had bulging bellies and billowing pillows of back and shoulder stuffing, punctured by flabby arms and lardy legs that no amount of fake-tan could disguise. And what struck me even more forcefully about these lumpen individuals (there were dozens more, equally large, in the queue behind me) was how obviously unconcerned they were about it.

Like she sat there and picked a part these young women. Who does that? She let her attitude be affected by a group of young women that was paying her not a bit of mind. While I really want to be mad I couldn't help but notice a common thread here. The health of fat people isn't the issue. Although she tries to make it so. Cause you know that's what internet trolls do. It's the fact that more and more fat women are learning how to love their bodies and are essentially okay in who they are as women. And Ms. Kelsey at 62 never learned feeling of freedom. Cause she's so busy worried about how other people view her if she gained a pound of weight.

Far from body hatred, what I witnessed was a let-it-all-hang-out faith in themselves and a don't-give-a-damn attitude to their evident obesity.
Like what did you expect? They're about to go on vacation and turn up! Why should they be ashamed and hide? Is that what you do when going on vacation? Are they suppose to wait until they are rail thin to enjoy life? I don't get it, someone please inform me. Why can't fat women just enjoy life? We're always told that we should hide and wait until we lose 100 pounds before we can enjoy the perks of life. #byefelicia, I will never lose 100 pounds so I plan to soak up every single bit of fun I can now, so when I am old I won't regret missing out on life. I might end up sounding like Ms. Kelsey over here.
The majority of today's fatties seem simply too greedy, ill-disciplined and or ignorant to do the same
But this the issue I have with people like her. She's writing this article as if all fat people are the same. As if health has one particular look. As if she is knows the eating habits & routine of every fat person on earth. But what I did notice, she said NOTHING about what she's doing to help the obesity problem. In my head I'm asking myself if she has such an issue, why not get involved? 
  • Why not offer free aerobic or workout classes? 
  • Why not do what you can to make healthier foods cheaper? 
  • Why not get with doctors, health professionals & nutritionist to offer proper nutrition classes?
  • How many young women have you counseled?
  • How many people have you helped in their health journey?  

She wrote this whole article offering no solutions. But I get it, it's easy to judge and make fun of someone so it can feed her lack of self esteem. The way I see it, a woman who is secure in who she is will offer help. She will remind women to love themselves in the body they're in now, so when they lose the weight the self love will follow. 

She goes on to say
A generation of mothers seem to have swallowed a dangerously misguided message of body acceptance; making them terrified of telling their daughters they're getting fat for fear they'll stop eating altogether.
-___- Jesus take the wheel A mother is suppose to uplift her daughter. If her daughter is facing ridicule from her peers she shouldn't have to come home to hear her mother calling her fat or putting her on a diet at 14 years old. (Lol I guess we know what her mother use to do #butthatsnoneofbusiness *sipstea*) Her insecurities as a woman just bleeds through each word in this article. And she is the kind of person I try to tell you my readers to ignore. Complaining and complaining about why fat people need be ashamed. It's quite obvious why God gave her a son and not a daughter. I doubt she would have the level of compassion that is needed to raise a girl.

Your thought process Ms. Kelsey is the reason why so many of our young girls are bent over a toilet bowl. Your thought process is the reason why so many girls hate the bodies they have no matter how often they workout. Your thought process is the reason why so many women cant let their boyfriends or husbands fully love them because from a young age they never learned to love themselves solely based on the fact they were (or are currently) fat.

Ms. Kelsey you are entitled to feel however you want about fat people. That is your right as a human being. But we as fat people also have the right to live our lives the way WE see fit. Our bodies are none of your concern.
Complaining b*tching & moaning about why a fat woman isn't crying in a corner basically makes you look bitter & insecure. You need a lesson in self love and self worth because clearly you miss that life lesson. Just because a woman is fat does not mean she is unhealthy and lazy and I personally I can name a list of women that will put holes all up & through your little observation. 

Get off your high horse, come down to earth miss thing. You are in no way better than a plus size woman just because you're skinny. All you are doing is tearing down other women. Because you never learned how to love your body. That's your problem not ours. The message that you are sending is that fat women should lose weight to please the people around them. And that's the life we aint about.

We have enough male politicians telling us what we should & shouldn't be doing with out bodies. If you are not going to offer constructive criticism or solutions to help plus size women embark on a health journey, stay seated in your assigned ticketed seat, have a coke & a smile. There are fat women in the world deal with it. And no we are not going to be ashamed because you say we should. We are going to go on vacation, we are going to wear shorts, we are going to wear leggings, short dress and anything else we want. We're going to eat what we want healthy or not. We are going to be mothers and wives and friends and professionals and we are going to live our lives. Maybe you should try that and you wouldn't have the time to be so worried about fat women who aren't worried about you.

Bloggers & other plus industry heavy hitters (pun intended) will continue to strive to uplift the fat woman. We will continue to show them that they HAVE NOTHING to be ashamed of when it comes to their bodies. We will continue to remind fat women that we are MORE than our fat bodies regardless if you are too shallow to see pass that. We will continue to show them that they can be plus size & healthy. And their health journey is a decision they will make for themselves and themselves only when they are ready, not when a 62 year old bitter woman calls them fat in hopes of shaming them to the gym.



  1. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 12:48 PM

    Great response to that unadulterated garbage! I hope I run into this woman in my bikini so I can flaunt my fat happiness while she stews.

  2. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 1:27 PM

    This post was right on time. Great response please keep up the good work.

  3. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 1:31 PM

    Tank you for this post. I am sick and tired of people saying nasty things about fat people and then trying to hide behind so called concerned for their health. The truth is they aren't thinking about their health, they're just plain hating.

  4. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 1:39 PM


  5. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 1:39 PM

    That's why I put my fatkini picture at the top! #fatandnotashamed lol

  6. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 1:40 PM

    thanks! I plan to :)

  7. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 3:11 PM

    I love this. Being awesome and speaking the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 3:26 PM

    How does this skinny heifer think she has the right to pick apart those young ladies..... or anyone else for that matter? I lived that life as a young girl, being put on a diet constantly because someone else had the idea I was too big. Really? It's nonsense!

    What pure and utter BS!

  9. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 3:28 PM

    lol I died when I read "skinny heifer" But you're right pure BS!

  10. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 3:58 PM

    Say that!

  11. Shainna TuckerJuly 10, 2014 at 4:20 PM

    I am 30 and I am a size 14-16. I live in d Caribbean and its hard finding plus size clothing. Being called Fat for me is a compliment now as i know what it was to be a size 8 at a time. I love my curves and I always make myself look good. We thick girls have to know that we all cant be a Size 4 and not study what ppl say about us or call us, but live life. If i feel to wear a 2 piece I will and I'm proud of this well written article and I would never be ashamed when i"m called FAT.

  12. Shainna TuckerJuly 11, 2014 at 11:40 AM

    One of the best articles I've read. Thank you. :-)

  13. Shainna TuckerJuly 16, 2014 at 8:45 PM

    Love it. I don't get why people are so concerned. Honestly some of us aren't here to impress and we aren't here to answer to anybody but ourselves. If it makes people uncomfortable then lets start complaining about how annoying others are in public. I can think of a few things.

    It amazes me when people try to go there. " I'm concerned" my a**. They don't care and then they go and try to say that we will be in the doctors for health issues with use up the money. First if folks are paying for their insurance then don't worry about it. There are people who go to the hospital after years of smoking and I don't see these sort of post worrying about people down the line. There are so many reasons why people end up in the hospital so when will they complain about them? They need to worry about themselves and worry about something more important then hiding behind "i care about your health after I've insulted you a few times" . Now a family member being concerned is a little more believable. These strangers who come and just assume don't know any better.

  14. Shainna TuckerJuly 16, 2014 at 9:25 PM

    you better preach!!!