Be Happy You Get Attention

"You should be happy that someone takes an interest in you."

"You won't find anyone better than me that'll love you"

Hey Loves,

I'm sure we've all had this encounter with a man at some point in our lives. Interestingly enough I recently dealt with this type of situation. I was heading to an event (per usual) when a random dude thought it would make my day if he paid me a little attention. Thought I would go weak at the knees because he thought me & my outfit were cute. I guess somewhere in his wonderful little world he thought he was doing me a favor because he paid me a "compliment" #majorsideeye

If any of you know me, my reaction is nothing short of #boybye & #notimeforit. Now when I didn't succumb to his advances (no doubt used & abused toward every female he saw that day) he tried his best to save face. Stating that I should be happy that he even paid attention to me. Even mentioning that girls like me should be happy that a guy even finds them a attractive. He went on to say he could get 100 big girls like me. I do thank him though, because he gave me quite a laugh in that moment.

But this type encounter is a usual for me and I'm sure other plus size girls.Why do people assume that plus size girls should just be happy with any type of attention they receive? Even if the attention is lack luster AT BEST. I mean are we worth nothing more than random cat calls on the street? Am I suppose to smile and lay down with you because you said "I'm pretty for a big girl"? I don't subscribe to the idea that as a plus size woman I'm just suppose to accept lame attention because you assume that I don't love myself enough to demand better.

In my time as a blogger I've gotten multiple messages from young ladies asking how should they deal with their boyfriends that believes they should be happy to have a man in the 1st place. My insides churn when I get those kinds of messages. On 1 hand I understand it, when you struggle with self esteem for whatever reason, having any man in your life makes you want to do whatever  you have to in order to keep him. But on the other hand I'd be damned if my significant other disrespected me, called me names and was rude to me.

I firmly believe that if he is the man in your life and he says that he cares the last thing he would do is deliberately hurt you. You should have the comfort in knowing that you are the one he would choose you over & over. If he cares he wouldn't tell you that you need to be in the gym & that you need to eat healthy.  He would be on the treadmill next to you or walking in the park with you or spotting you on the bench press & he'd be in the kitchen cooking with you.

But loving yourself does not start & end with him. In fact, so many other women I know are quite the opposite. Ladies you should love yourself enough to wait for the guy that will love you fat & all than to settle for a knuckle head that will undoubtedly use you & mistreat you because I'm presumed to be blinded by the fact that a man could ACTUALLY love you. As a woman you should love yourself to not tolerate that type of abuse. But I also know all of this is easier said than done. 

Case & point, ladies we should not settle just for the random cat calls. We should not settle for the knuckle head that wants to knit pick our bodies & our self esteem. We shouldn't 'just be happy with what we get' Plus size body or not, we are still women & deserve to loved just as much as anyone else.

Let me know your cat calling stories if you have any!


1 comment:

  1. Shainna TuckerOctober 22, 2014 at 6:33 PM

    oMG Shay you are preaching to the congregation! I have been feeling like this for years I hated when I was grammer school & highschool when I said that I had a boyfriend that ppl response was "how does he look is he fat". Why? Was that the only option for me? I think not! Not saying that there isn't wrong with liking/loving on a big man (you know what I mean). I even had a argument with a young man who was convince that I was ugly, and was ensuring him I was nothing of the sort! And once in college some guys still haven't yet mature and wasn't quite warm to thought of dating a big girl, so put in the friend zone. And i had alot of guy friends (always have). However some of them of I felt may actually like me or had a crush on me but because I was a bigger they seem a bit hesitant almost intimidated to admit because of how they friends or others might treat them . Of course it hurt my feelings but I never let them see me sweat because i knew I was beautiful I knew I was special and I knew I was a catch. So no I have or never will settle who I am just to have or keep someone. I'm glad you wrote this post, because us ladies need to know that if you can't love yourself how expect for someone else to love you. And when you totally in love with who you are and all you have to offer, you never let anyone come in take that from you. And certainly would not settle for anything less than the best.


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