My Plus Size & Dating Story
6:29 PM
Hey Loves,
To be honest with you guys, I'm not the best when it comes to talking about dating. My blogging big sister & mentor Cece Olisa of PlusSizePrincess.com is the best at this. But since a number of you have asked me about being a plus size girl & dating, I decided to actually make an attempt to write this post. To me being plus size & dating doesn't have to be diffifult. I believe that they are men that do genuinely love plus size women, not only for her body, but for all the other things she can bring to the table. And I think sometimes we as women need to take the leap of faith and open ourselves up. But that's just me.
Some of you have asked what it is like for me as a big girl, and do I ever get self conscious when it comes to finding, dating & keeping a man. The answer to that is yes & no. In my adult life, dating has never really been an issue. Most of you know that I'm in a very fulfilling relationship with my guy. We recently just made a year together. But prior to him I dated a few guys, nothing that was too serious...definitely none to bring home to mom & dad. But it's interesting, with the men I've dated, me being plus size never bothered me. It's something I can't fully explain, but it's something I just didn't care about, because they never made me feel like I had to worry about it, nor did I make myself worry about it. Prior to my guy I was never self conscious about myself around the guys that I dated. And I like to think that that's part of the reason we meshed. The men that I've dated never had a problem with my body. So once we got over that from the beginning we were able to form a bond that works for us.
But in high school & parts of college, yeah I struggled. I didn't like my body. I wanted to be like my skinny friends, cause I thought that would get me some attention. I would see all these other girls with their boyfriends, or see how many guys were interested in them, and wondered what that feeling was like. But then again I was teenager, what did I know? But at the time I didn't have a fraction of the confidence I have now. If I was this confident at 14, 15, & 16 I would've put the moves on my high school crush (hell if he wasn't married with 2 kids I would put the moves on him today lol) He knows who he is *hey Dan*.
Now I know there are jerks in the world that will date you because they think you have low self esteem. (I've definitely been there, but I nip that mess in the butt from the get go.) There will be some that will fetish-ize you. Those kinds of guys you just have to let them be. Make it know you ain't here for the foolishness, and stand by that.
If you're plus size, own it! Take the time to dress yourself, put on your favorite lipstick, style your hair, take a new approach at work, go to the gym, take up a new hobby that fulfills you, go back to school. Something that will give you confidence. Don't get me wrong you'll have those days when you just aren't feeling yourself, that happens, you're human. But when you're dating someone, obviously they see something in you that keeps their interest. When you have confidence about yourself, you love yourself & when you love yourself you're able to love your partner whether it be a man or woman.
There you have it, until next time loves.
xoxo
Shay
xoxo
Shay
2 comments
You said it right. . . .Love Yourself First!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny. I am happier now that I was when I was thinner (which was only for a short period of my life when I lived at the gym). It's all about you really and not what anyone else thinks. I've been with my guy forever so I can't say I know what it's like to date now but I am definitely more confident than I was at 16. :-)
ReplyDeleteBeauty Isles | An Island Girl's Beauty and Lifestyle Blog